Anna Kournikova In A Bikini ... No Explanation Needed

Who needs tennis?

For more, just click the pic.

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)

Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley,
Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

Three-time boxing champion James Toney has tested positive for steroids. Officials became suspicious when his head couldn't fit through the ropes.

USA Today reported that 48% of Americans have played organized basketball, and the rest have played for the Knicks. The paper also reported that 1% of French athletes 11-years-old and under have already used performance enhancing drugs. The others just drink wine like they're supposed to.

Enrique Iglesias just released a new album entitled "Insomniac." If you shared a bed with Anna Kournikova, you wouldn't want to sleep much either.

Dikembe Mutombo, Edgar Martinez and Kyle Petty were inducted to Boise, Idaho's World Sports Humanitarian Hall of Fame. Most overheard comment? "You've got a funny accent."

Speaking of humanitarians, Cavs forward Ira Newble recently met with 15 Darfur refugees living in Cleveland. That's the first time anyone has ever been excited to move to Cleveland.

Washington Redskins rookie LaRon Landry was unable to practice after being shot in the groin with a paintball. Too bad he didn't get shot in a less sensitive part of his body, like his head.

The Yankees made history by signing two 19-year-old players from China's baseball association. It was mainly historical because the Yankees signed pitchers that weren't close to retirement. The Yankees were hoping to get another 38-year-old, but two 19-year-olds will do.

And speaking of young, Tampa Bay outfielder Elijah Dukes is in trouble again, this time for impregnating the 17-year-old foster daughter of one of his relatives. Dukes swears she looked 18 – which would make her the 18-year-old foster daughter of one of his relatives. And that's TOTALLY okay.

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com

Our Celebrity Nooner: Anna Kournikova's Still Got Game

Despite the fact that she hasn't played competitive tennis in years (and didn't win when she did), we are still drawn to this once budding prodigy of the courts. Why is that, do you suppose?

Good to see that she is still in playing shape. And who's that loser she's with? We could totally kick his ass.

(The Tip: Egotastic)

The Constant Variety Of Sports: 16.7% Apathetic

Kournikova, Cartoon Team Up (MediaWeek)

Anna Kournikova is continuing her commitment to Cartoon Network’s pro-social Get Animated campaign, which is designed to get kids up off the couch. The former tennis pro/model will star in Get Animated with Anna Kournikova, a new DVD targeting the nation’s younger sofa spuds (kids aged 6-13).

Former NFL player to fight in mixed martial arts (Ben Maller)

Mike Guymon and Tony Bonello together are teaching former NFL wide receiver Johnnie Morton how to compete in mixed martial arts, one of the few sports that may be more violent and more dangerous than professional football. “I’ve gotten hit a lot in my life,” said Morton, who spent 12 seasons going over the middle against N.F.L. safeties. “But I’ve never gotten hit like this.”

Barrett fails to remain eligible (Daily News)

USC defensive tackle Chris Barrett is academically ineligible after failing to pass enough classes this semester, which effectively ends his college career. Barrett did not meet an NCAA rule which requires an athlete to pass a minimum of six units per semester.

Spurs facing another non-sellout (Express-News)

After failing to sell out Sunday's Western Conference finals opener — a playoff first in the AT&T Center's five-year history — the Spurs are in danger of having another less-than-capacity crowd tonight. About 1,000 tickets, mostly upper-deck seats, remained for the game as of Monday night.

NFL Owners Award North Texas Super Bowl XLV (DallasCowboys)

The North Texas presentation here at the NFL owners meetings Tuesday morning, along with the extensive proposal submitted to the NFL by Monday's 9 p.m. deadline, were able to defeat the bids made by Indianapolis and Arizona.

Spurs fined $50,000 for missing media session (Reuters)

The San Antonio Spurs organization was fined $50,000 for failing to make its players available for a required media session, the NBA said Tuesday. The Spurs were given the day off Monday after a tough stretch of five games in nine days and missed their mandatory meeting with reporters.

Anna Kournikova Staves Off Penthouse For At Least One More Year

Bad news for those of us you hoping that Anna Kournikova's career would start falling off the precipice and at some point she'd be forced into posing for a "men's magazine" or doing some "art films" to make ends meet.

New K-Swiss spokesperson, Anna Kournikova (PR Newswire)
Steeped in tennis heritage, K-Swiss (Nasdaq: KSWS) returns to its roots with the announcement of tennis star, Anna Kournikova, as the brand's new spokesperson.



Kournikova will appear in two television spots, the first beginning in March, illustrating the brand's performance product, as well as, its trendsetting style. The commercials will demonstrate that with athleticism, grace, confidence and K-Swiss you can overcome all obstacles and reach your final goal.

And they chose Anna? On how you can reach your final goal? (Anna's Career titles: 0.) Back up the truck, K-Swiss. You chose Anna because she is a hot piece of ass. Period. If you are so "steeped in tennis heritage," why didn't you choose, oh I don't know, a CURRENT TENNIS PLAYER. Or even a good retired tennis player?

I don't mind them choosing Anna as their spokesperson. I applaud it actually. More Anna on TV is never a bad thing. But don't give us this, "We did it for tennis reasons" crap.

(Side note: We checked and amazingly this is our very first post on Anna Kournikova. And we call ourselves a sports site?)