The Girl's Guide To Winning A NASCAR Driver

That's the name of a new book about to hit the marketplace. Without even reading it, I bet I can sum up the guide with two words:

Bud. Weiser.

The book released Thursday answers the question [author Liz] Allison has heard often while discussing her first book -- how does a woman go about marrying a racer?

"It kind of became a joke. My publicist and I, every time we'd go somewhere, 'Let's see how many questions in will it take before they ask me that question,"' said Allison, who met her late husband, Davey Allison, at a race track.

Her next book: How to Marry a NASCAR Driver Who Actually Knows How to Operate a Helicopter without Killing Himself.

The book includes a list of the top five drivers most likely to settle down, and it does not include fan favorites Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Tony Stewart.

I bet I know. It's because of Junior's horrendous goatee and Smoke's child-frightening neck beard.

Her girlfriend tips include letting the driver lead with the goodnight kiss and how to work connections for the all-important pit passes to get close. Allison also includes a list of drivers' favorite hangouts in Charlotte, N.C. but cautions the drivers aren't there often.

Help with stalking! Excellent! Always needed.

She also advises women on how to dress, again from her own experience. No big jewelry and forget high heels at a track. She learned the hard way when she wore 3-inch red heels and a one-piece jumpsuit to a race at Darlington.

Buzzzzzzzzzz. Wrong! 3-inch red heels and a one-piece jumpsuit = guaranteed racer bait.

[A "don't] is married drivers, often a target of groupies she calls "pit lizards."

"Pit lizards don't seem to mind if someone's married or not. I just point that out in case any of them pick up this book to read it," Allison said. "We're reminding them that married means off-limits."

Yeah, this will help, because we all know that pit lizards are voracious readers.

(AP)
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