Things To Do On The Fourth Of July

We know that there will be a lot of beer and pizza consumed tomorrow so these two items will really come in handy and be sure to entertain your guests.

From the English illiterate Klokicker!

Football mania while urinating !

It will make men���s hearts leap and make the women���s league give a loud groan. "klokicker ��� the footaball-urinal-sieve" ... is a green plastic inset for a urinal, with a football goal installed on top.

A football dangles in front of the goal. The accuracy the male guests are capable of is now on the line and they have to "KICK" the ball into the goal.

Bull���s eye! And the ball changes colorur. A lot of fun for top goal scorers!

Put that together with this, an idea whose time has come:

From the CBC:

Patrons must be 18 years and older to order from Porno Pizza, which delivers pornographic material inserted under every pizza.

One woman told CBC News that the woman depicted in the Porno Pizza insert was "too naked," while another said porn is "something I wouldn't expect to have anything to do with pizza."

But surprisingly, Wildeman said, many of his customers are women.

That doesn't surprise me at all. Most women are depraved sexual beasts. At least the ones I meet at Miss Kitty's Cabaret (where they do NOT play any of these songs).

You get these two things going tomorrow for you and your buddies and you're golden.

(Tips O' The Hat: The Offside and The Urban Backpacker)