Weekend Potpourri (Saturday Afternoon Edition)

Red Sox fans mock A-Rod with blonde masks. Bravo! (FanIQ Blog)

This is what makes a rivalry great, particularly this one. The fans ... and the newspapers help: They know A-Rod prefers blonds - maybe they heard A-Rod likes to be teased, too. Hundreds of Red Sox fans donned yellow-haired masks last night, taunting Yankees star Alex Rodriguez about his liaison with a buxom blond stripper.

Sheffield, Bard appeal three-game suspensions (AP)

Sheffield suggested to the Detroit Free Press that he would expose a "conspiracy" within the game if he is not cleared of wrongdoing." "Once they see the tape, and they still suspend me, then we're going to talk about this conspiracy that's going on," he said. "If it ain't no conspiracy, then I shouldn't be suspended at all."

Michael Vick Is A Grounded Bird (Parlayer)

No word on if Nike plans on shutting down The Michael Vick Experience in the wake of embattled Falcons��� quarterback Michael Vick���s dog-fighting scandel, but we can say with certainty that AirTran has dropped Ronnie Mexico from their list of athlete endorsers.

Greg Oden Wants To ���Make It Rain���! (NBA Basketball and Other Unrelatedness)

Uh��� not in the way you think, you crazy Pacman Jones people! G.O. has a blog on Yarkbarker��� (which btw, GRR! since they���re the main competition of Ballhype, where I���m doing a quasi e-interning. I gots loyalty yo, that���s how I roll)���back to Oden. Yeah, he actually has a blog there, and it���s pretty neat.

Drugging Boxers is the New Cool Thing (Sportable)

First it was George Foreman claiming that he was drugged when he faced Muhammad Ali. Now it is Antonio Tarver who is speculating that perhaps he was drugged when he faced Bernard Hopkins last June.

Man falls off balcony in spitting contest (Reuters)

A 43-year-old German man was taken to hospital in critical condition after he fell off a second storey balcony during a spitting contest with his 12-year-old son, police said Friday. A spokesman for the police in the eastern town of Cottbus said the man in Forst had apparently lost his balance after thrusting too far forward in his attempt to outspit his son.

P.S. No idea where Ted is today. Sorry.