If Pedro Martinez Calls You For A Date, Hang Up

Some woman in St. Petersburg thought she was dating Pedro Martinez. And apparently her Pedro needed money. A lot of it. Why Pedro Martinez would be in St. Petersburg trolling for women is beyond me, but then again I'm not an idiot (oh, shut up).

From the Herald:

A chiropractor who thought she was being courted by New York Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez was actually the victim of con artists who took her for hundreds of thousands of dollars, authorities said.

Rhonda Schroeder, 32, told prosecutors that she befriended a patient, Shirley Gordon, who introduced her to a man posing as the Mets ace.

Understandable since Pedro doesn't have any money of his own.

Schroeder said the impostor continued their romance through phone calls and text messages. He urged Schroeder to spend money on Gordon, including a $450,000 house, more than $150,000 in furniture and lawyers to defend her against a previous fraud charge, The St. Petersburg Times reported Sunday. He always promised to pay back the money.

The fake Martinez always had an excuse for why he couldn't visit Schroeder, but he sent gifts and flowers. In daily phone calls, he played the doting boyfriend. Schroeder said she would do anything to keep him happy, including helping his "sister" financially.

This might be the dumbest woman on planet Earth.

Prosecutor Beverly Andringa said she can't charge anyone with scamming Schroeder because the chiropractor damaged her credibility by testifying on Gordon's behalf at her fraud trial.

Brilliant. This is why I don't trust chiropractors.