Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Sports Illustrated Sucks A Little More Out Of The Shallow End Of The Pool (Updated)

It seems that while we weren't looking, SI.com went and hired another "journalist."

Apparently all you need to get a writing job over at SI is to be in your 20's, female, and possess a nice rack (see Sterger, Jenn).

Let's see what this latest "find" has to say about the world of sports.

Imagine the scene: 14 models living in beach houses on Texas' South Padre Island for four weeks, working one of the biggest and longest spring break parties of the year. Imagine no more -- me, and 13 of my closest friends are actually getting paid to party every day (and do promotions from 10-4 on the beach) to help lure spring breakers to San Padre Island. Since most of you cannot go on spring break anymore, I will try to bring at least a piece of it to you.
Uh. O.K. Where's the "sports" part?

Have you ever rolled with an entourage of girls whose favorite quote of the trip so far is, "Hey, we're not paid to be smart"?!? It's crazy! The perks are that we never have to wait in lines or buy our own drinks. The downfalls include constantly being asked to pose for pictures and hearing every pick-up line in the book. Examples include:

"Do you clean your pants with Windex? Because I can see myself in them."

"Is your dad a thief? Well then who stole the stars and put them in your eyes?"

"Do you have a quarter? Because my mom told me to call her when I found the one."

Yeah, those didn't work for me either. Still waiting for the "sports" part of the article though.
I've given at least a dozen names from Brittany to Shaniqua, and have been everything from a med student to a professional air-guitarist. I think I've met people from almost every state, too. It's crazy down here because when you go out to the beach all you see are masses of people underneath their respective school and fraternity flags with the most extreme drinking stations I've ever seen. We're talking eight-person beer bongs and keg sandcastles.

Well, just check out some of the pics and see for yourself. And check back next week for more!

That's it? Yep. This is SI.com's idea of sports now. Soft-corn porn, here we come!!

Sports Illustrated used to be known for it's great sports writing and photography. Now it just wants to be known for T&A and pandering to the stupid.

Don't believe me? Read for yourself:
Speaking Of SI ... The Moron Mailbag Is Back!
The Cowgirl Checks In With Another In-Depth Report
Sports Illustrated Is Feeling The Jenn Sterger Influence
Sports Illustrated Has No Interest In Your Pulitzer Prizes
Jenn Sterger And Wikipedia Have A Lot In Common
Librarians Want Their Body Paint Too
The Writing At Sports Illustrated Just Keeps Getting Better
Yet Another Riveting Episode Of Dear Jenn
Another Riveting Episode Of Dear Jenn
Stupid Article Premise Of The Day

UPDATE: For some reason they changed the title and sub-headline since I posted about this. Nothing bad about it, just strange. Of course, they've done this before for more sexy reasons.

12 comments:

Awful Announcing- said...

Ridiculous.

Signal to Noise said...

I think SI seems to miss the point. We like intelligent hotties who earn their on-air/column/writing gigs.

NFL Adam said...

From the picture, it does look like she is technically blogging in her underwear.

The Sports Hernia said...

And I think, this could purely be speculation, but she appears to be hiding her love handles.

MCBias said...

I can't add much to what Signal-to-Noise said, except to voice my total agreement. If they are intelligent and write well AND are hot...trust me, no one will have any problems at all with SI's writer choices.

Anonymous said...

In fairness, this girl has been writing for SI.com for over a year, and her old stories are linked right below the picture in the story. She's a college student who plays in the Women's Pro Football League, which is pretty cool.

Not to say this was well-written, but your statement that she's a new writer is just wrong ... and all you had to do is look at the story to see it.

Scrap said...

While what you say may be true, it's not (I never said she was new, I just said they hired another writer), the fact remains that this "article" features yet another one of their "writers" in a bikini and has nothing whatsoever to do with sports. Thanks for the comment though and for stopping by. Hope you like the rest of the site.

J Money said...

I used to respect SI. Now they allow crap like this as well as fawning articles like that Brett Favre abomination from last Fall that I'm still not over. You know, the one where he was likened to everyone from Huck Finn to Jesus Christ? And now we have global warming cover stories and stupid females regurgitating so-called "pick up lines" that absolutely NO male would actually use.... in fact, aren't those lines eligible for the hackey joke HOF, right alongside the "why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box material" and anyone who feels the urge to utter the homicide-inducing phrase "park the car in Harvard yard" every SINGLE time someone brings up the Boston "accent"?

I need to exhale.

Anonymous said...

I bet she is only using SI to promote herself (since all of her pictures along with the articles look like a cry for modeling) and while appearing to be interested in sports. Who knows maybe she's one of those girls who tries to impress the guys by checking highlights post games and spews it back out in an attempt to show off her knowledge, which clearly she has none.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should check out some of her other stuff. She's a friend of mine who actually does play women's pro football and is more intelligent than a lot of you will ever be.
She just writes about what they tell her too and gets in more sports stuff when they let her(aka. Alando Tucker and Joe Thomas interviews).
As if you wouldn't write about whatever they wanted if they called and just asked you to.

Anonymous said...

if she's a smart girl she sure as hell isn't showing it in these articles. i have in fact read every one and she seems superficial, full of herself, and definitely less concerned with sports and more with being a model.

Anonymous said...

So this is the reason why SI cut out Steve Rushin's Air & Space column -- the best thing the magazine had going -- to make space for MTV schlock? I'm sorry, but swimsuits can't cut it alone. Please cancel my subscription!