Jenn Sterger And Wikipedia Have A Lot In Common

Oh, man, as if this stinkin' holiday couldn't get any worse, now I run across another manifesto by SI's glorified shot girl intrepid reporter, Jenn Sterger.

Let's dive right in, shall we?

Shockers and Ducks ... Oh my! (SI)
Wichita State proved to be a much worthier venue than one would suspect. Nestled in the heart of the chilly Midwest, my crew and I braved the single-digit temperatures to bring you footage like no other. Here are just a few highlights from my trip to the heartland:

I can hardly contain the excitement. Hurry Jenn, hurry, tell us about it!

The Shocker is more than just an obscene hand gesture. In fact, the Wichita State student body caused such a huge controversy in past years when they were shown displaying the three-finger hand arrangement in the national media, prompting the administration to take action. The school deemed the hand gesture appropriate only when the thumb was added to the mix. The students seem to have obliged and even encouraged me to get it right.

Wow! How did she ever uncover this journalistic gem? I see a future Emmy in the picture for Ms. Sterger. (From Wikipedia: The "Shockers" are also known for the hand gesture used by many students and fans, often referred to as the shocker (hand gesture). You will often see the Shocker held up during free throws and three point shots at basketball games. It has evolved from the sexual reference to just a general hand signal identifying the team.)

Although it has have great talent on the diamond and the court, Wichita State does not boast a football team. In fact, the Shockers experienced their own episode of We Are Marshall when a plane crash on Oct. 2, 1970, killed numerous members of the team and staff. The school attempted to re-establish the program, but rebuilding efforts proved futile, and the program officially ended in the early 80's.

More in-depth reporting from "the Sterj." That's my new name for her. (Wikipedia again: On October 2, 1970, the first, or "gold" plane (the twin plane to the second, or black, plane) took off from a Colorado airport after refueling, bound for Logan, Utah for a game against Utah State University. It would never reach its destination.)

You can say we followed the Yellow brick road, or maybe just took the Oregon trail, but our next adventure lead us all the way to the Emerald City of Eugene Ore., home of the Fighting Ducks. Here are a few highlights.

Few people know that Oregon is the only school with an actual contract with Walt Disney to secure the rights of their mascot, none other than the likeness of Donald Duck.

Did she just lift all her "news?" (Wikipedia: The mascot of the University of Oregon is the duck; popular Disney character Donald Duck has been the mascot for decades, thanks to an agreement made by The Walt Disney Company.)

I met the man that made the "statement that launched 15,000 applications to Florida State," or at least got their attention on that fateful Monday night telecast that thrust my girlfriends and I into the national spotlight -- Brent Musburger. Musburger was on hand to call last Saturday's game against Arizona, and graciously took time from his busy schedule to speak with me about that night, and the events that followed.

Note to self: Kill Brent Musberger.

He [Nick Harrington] and Aubrey took me through the football facilities that I can only describe as a locker room from MTV's cribs, complete with plasma TVs, playstations, and the latest and greatest of Nike.

So, as you can see, my trip across the Oregon Trail was a huge success. Catch more from my excursion to the University of Oregon in this week's edition of The Jenn X Road Show.

It was a huge success? From what she wrote, I can't figure out what the hell she did. How was it successful? What are the "goals" of this "Road Show?" Why am I yelling in my head?

Next up: Syracuse. Anyone got a Tylenol?

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As long as someone like Miss Sterger gets a slot to "write" at a prestigious (although less so now) publication like SI instead of an actual, you know, writer, we are going to make fun of it. We do not profess to be writers, but we do know one when we see one. Disclaimer: All of Jenn's blurbs were taken out of context, but were still as dumb as if they had been in context.

Here's something to spiff up your Valentine's Day.


Not sure how Jeff Garcia pulled this off.